The world according to topher

1 year ago

RT @alyankovic: BTW, Christina Aguilera, nice job at the Super Bowl, but changing the words to songs is MY gig.

1 year ago

RT @kanyewest: I just threw some bassoon on this muthafucka

1 year ago

RT @OnlinePhishTour: i wish all the people in my life who are not into #phish could understand the joy i am experiencing after this week …

1 year ago

RT @amandapalmer: Hey @AmandaPalmer & @BrianViglione, I wanna see The @DresdenDolls TONIGHT in St Louis http://bit.ly/DD1116tix #DDstl

1 year ago

Beatle Bob seriously needs to go away. #DDstl

1 year ago from bookmarklet

via www.bestweekever.tv

1 year ago

Yo' Mamma vs Your Mom

Yo Momma

Though they share many of the same characteristics, it is important not to confuse your mom with yo momma.

Yo momma typically possesses a wide range of undesirable traits-including but not limited to: unattractiveness, obesity, low intelligence, poverty, poor bodily/oral hygiene, promiscuity, unappealing odor, hirsuteness, lackluster work ethic-and exhibits these traits to a degree that observers may find shocking or humorous. Generally, these qualities emerge via some linguistic misunderstanding or the employment of some device in a manner for which it was not originally intended, viz: due to yo momma’s unhealthy corpulence, she requires the substitution of a microwave oven in place of a pager, presumably because her engorged fingers would be unable to operate the small buttons found on a typical pager (though it is unclear how exactly a microwave would serve as a viable alternative, as this appliance is in no way designed to serve a similar function) . In most cases, yo momma is either unaware of or unconcerned with how others perceive her, contributing to the scorn heaped on yo momma by those who disapprove of her lifestyle choices.

Your mom, by comparison, tends to be much more directly demonstrative of her seemingly negative traits, and may frequently even embrace her shortcomings, of which promiscuity is by far the most dominant. In fact, despite any other potentially unappealing traits, your mom’s well-known licentious ways and cheerful agreeableness to try anything twice have greatly boosted her popularity within the community. In some cases, your mom goes so far as to take pride in her sexual uninhibitedness with strangers, as well as with your close friends and acquaintances, as evidenced by their extensive knowledge of what “she said,” or what she “did last night.”

2 years ago from bookmarklet

"Oh God, let us believe that everything we believe is probably wrong, and that everything we think we know we don’t, and that every act we take is a zero in the universal mathematics of nullity. Give us the strength to weaken, the courage to chicken out, and the conviction to remain forever unconvinced. Let us fall by the wayside, let us doubt, let us throw up our hands in abject surrender. Give us this day, O Lord, and we swear to God we’ll do nothing with it."

- UNREMITTING FAILURE: The Flag We Fly

Notes: 9 / 2 years ago from jeannr